Time to Make a Change

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that it's completely obvious that I have been struggling with this whole healthy lifestyle thing lately.  I've been skipping my workouts and have formed some bad eating habits over the past few months.  Life has been a little rough since around December, and definitely not turning out as I had pictured or planned.  I thought I'd just keep truckin along, working full time, running my business on the side, going to boot camp, and prepping meals...not so much.  

My little side business has taken on a whole new meaning and become much more time consuming.  I went to the book store a few weeks ago and picked up a book called You're Made for a God-Sized Dream.  I haven't been able to put it down, and every time I read it I end up with tears streaming down my face because the words hit me like bricks.  I don't know if I've ever read a book that hit home like this one has.  Basically, it's about opening the door to all God has for you, and having the courage to take on those big dreams you have in your heart.  The last chapter I read was called "How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself".  It began with explaining how when you have a God-sized dream, it's easy to find yourself utterly exhausted because your passion for it can become consuming.  Then it goes on to explain steps to take along the way to avoid self-sabotage.  This chapter was exactly what I needed to read!  Since this book has been helping me so much, I just want to share the steps with a quick summary under each:

1.  Remember You're Human

• everyone has limitations, which are not a sign of weakness or failure but a reminder that we are gloriously and imperfectly human
• you are not machines that can endlessly perform
• you are not a superhero and you are not invincible
• respect what you need and accept being human

2.  Take Care of Your Body

• if you want a better, more fulfilled life and to achieve your dream, then you must take care of your body
• when we're in the midst of following a passion in our lives, we often grow tired, and the first things to go are usually what could make us feel better
• when you chronically live in stress, it saps you of your strength and you end up in survival mode
• when you make poor food choices, ignore exercise, and don't get enough rest - you flip yourself into living out of a stress response
• remember to get 7-10 hours of sleep a night, put a basic plan in place for healthy eating - something easy that you will stick with, and get moving at least 3 times a week
• think of your body as the vessel for the rest of you - take care of yourself and respect your needs

3.  Simplify Your Life

• cut back on extraneous emotional and energy expenses in other areas
• make a list of things that take up your time, then decide what can stay, what needs to go, what can be delegated, and what can be decreased

4.  Build Your Dream Team

• no-one achieves their dreams alone, so having a support system is crucial
• make sure you have a mentor, an encourager, and a cheering section
• stay away from negative people, be ready for doubters, and stand guard against bullies

5.  Decide to Be On Your Side

• learn that it's okay to treat yourself with kindness, and talk to yourself in a positive way
• don't get in your own way and learn how to encourage yourself when no one else is there to do it for you

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret.  My dream is to run my own successful floral design studio, specializing in weddings and events.  I want to travel, creating designs out of fresh flowers that only I can see in my dreams, doing what I do best.  I want to be my own boss.  This has always been a dream of mine, I've just been too scared to pursue it.  Well, I started pursuing it about a year ago, and my life hasn't been the same since.  I eat, sleep, and breathe my dream these days - and in doing that, I have started to learn a lot more about myself and what I want out of life.  I've been spending a lot more time with my husband, and I love it.  I've learned that I love the small hometown feeling I get when I walk into the gas station where we live (yes, there's just one).  I've learned that I am way more capable of doing more than I ever thought.  It feels like I've been watching a movie of someone else's life lately, doing all these things that I've always wanted to do...but then I realize it's me.  I know, sounds weird - but it's the truth. 

Investing so much time and energy into making my dream a reality has definitely taken its toll on me mentally and physically.  I've gotten fluffy, I get out of breath doing normal things, and I'm always tired.  I finally hit a breaking point the other night and told my husband that something had to give.  So, I am making changes.

Last night, my parents brought over my old desk and a new filing cabinet for me.  So, now I have a little office at home that I can work out of instead of having wedding papers scattered all over the house and sitting at the kitchen table.  I've decided to take a break from boot camp for a couple of months. Instead, I am going to be coming home right after work and doing a quick workout with my husband.  I am going to start getting up a little earlier so I can work on my business before I go to my day job.  I am also going to start eating healthy again and getting more sleep.

I realize that some of you may not understand or agree with my decisions, but I'm doing what I feel is best for me at this time in my life.  My current schedule was not working for me, so I'm changing it.  Is it scary?  Yes.  Am I going to miss my friends at boot camp?  Yes.  Do I think this change is necessary?   Absolutely. 

Word on the street is that there is a new boot camp location opening up in Round Rock in April, so I am planning on going back when that happens.  There are times in life when you need to make a change and rock your world a little bit.  Instead of sitting here wishing things were the way they used to be just a few short months ago, I'm making the decision here and now to focus on what lies ahead instead of looking behind me anymore.  So, here's to being scared but making changes anyway, getting out of my comfort zone, taking care of myself again, and making my dream come true!

Embrace Your Crazy

Is it seriously already February?  What happened to January??  Oh, that’s right...I was busy as crap!  My business has taken on a mind of its own, and has begun to demand a LOT of my attention.  Since things started getting so busy for me a couple weeks ago, I decided to take a step back from my Fluff page, and focus more on growing my business instead of my muscles.  For the past few weeks, I have spent my days working 8-5 (yep, still have a full-time job), then coming home and working my business till about 12-1am.  I’ve been running on about 5 hours of sleep every day, texting brides about moss balls and cake flowers, meeting potential clients over coffee (and cake pops), creating quotes, drawing sketches, and eating whatever is convenient.  I conquered a wedding and two bridal shows in the midst of it all.  My car has had everything in it from flowers, to giant logs, to old tires, and spray paint. 

Aside from being so busy with all of that, my coach moved to a different town.  Did you catch that?  Coach...relocated.  This was completely unexpected, and I still struggle with it.  On the days I didn’t feel like going to boot camp, I went anyway because I knew she would text me asking where I was.  When I was doing exercises all wrong, she was there to tell me how to do it right.  When I was stressed out because of work, she would hug me.  When I killed my workout, she’d give me a pat on the back and say “Way to go Kelli Rogers!”  I’d be lying if I said boot camp doesn’t feel different these days.  I came very close to quitting and never looking back, mostly because I was mad, upset, sad, and didn’t want to accept the fact that she wouldn’t be there anymore.  Then I thought about my friends, all the progress I’ve made, and the blood, sweat, and tears I have put on that gym floor.  And I decided to stay.  I started boot camp because I wanted to be a better me, not for anyone or anything else.  So, that’s why I’m going to continue.  I may not be able to go 4 times a week, but I’ll go when I can.

Did taking a step back and focusing on my business make it grow?  Heck yes it did, and I am very thankful.  However, it wasn’t the only thing that grew...so did my butt.  Yall, I have a pair of jeans that were loose in December, and I can’t even button them now!  I totally went back to old habits because of all of the crazy emotions going on, and I turned to food for comfort BIGtime.  I got so busy that I stopped making time to track my food, prep meals, workout, and heck I barely made time to even get groceries.  That + stress + lack of sleep = fluff.  #justkeepinitreal

 

Even though I have put on some fluff these past couple of months, it’s OKAY.  I'm not beating myself up about it.  Taking a step back from it all made me realize that I was focusing my energy on things that don’t really matter.  I was too wrapped up in what the scale said, what my body fat % was, and comparing my body to other people.  In the end, none of that matters.  What matters is your family, friends, and doing what you are made to do.  For me, that’s flowers.  I know I keep bringing up my business, but it is changing me and my life in ways that I never imagined possible.  I am taking big risks and leaps of faith, and I am accomplishing things that were just dreams before. 

 

What does this mean for my working out and eating habits?  I don’t know.  I’m just trying to figure it out one day at a time and make smarter choices as I go.  I'm focusing more on getting to a point where I'm just comfortable in my own skin more than anything, and getting stronger (gotta be able to set up those wedding flowers!).  I went to boot camp last night, and I’m going again today (even though I don’t want to because I’ve got to revise a quote, do two sets of sketches for styled shoots, and place flower orders...so it's looking like another late night).  Maybe I’ll pick up tracking all my food again tomorrow, and maybe I won’t.  Either way, I’m gonna be just fine.  This journey is about progress anyway, not being perfect. 

 

Life is short.  Be thankful for those you love, and thankful to be alive another day.  Don’t get so busy that you lose sight of what’s important.  My life is different now, and changing on a daily basis.  Instead of fighting it, I'm learning to embrace the crazy.  Whatever it is in life that you have been afraid of, I highly recommend facing the fear head-on and just going for it.  Don't be afraid to dream, and learn to embrace your crazy!  :)

Learning to Live in the Moment

I guess part of getting older is learning more about yourself.  Lately, I've realized that I have a big problem - not being able to live in the moment.  I get so caught up in my past and future that I can't focus on the present.  I spend lots of time thinking about my past failures and fearing the future.  Sound weird?  Let me explain...

So, as far as thinking about past failures...most of this has to do with food choices.  I have issues with food...always have.  I won't go into detail right now, but let's just say that food is my "go-to" when stressed...and I have been super stressed lately.  So, I have been stuffing my face...which leads to guilt trips...which leads to stress...which leads to food...which leads to...see?  It's a vicious cycle.  All of the craziness with food choices leads to me not reaching my fitness goals, and self-doubt starts to creep in...along with feelings of insecurity and not being "good enough".  Good enough for what?  Heck if I know.

When it comes to fearing the future...I feel like a huge part of this comes from knowing that after March 3, I will only have one year left to be a "20 something".  Growing up, I always thought I'd have my life figured out by the time I was 25.  HA!  Not so much.  I also always thought I'd be a young and cool Mom, driving a black Tahoe with 2 kids in the back, sportin spandex and lookin fine.  That hasn't happened either.  I also thought I would be living in a big house with a wrap-around porch where I can sit outside with my hubs, drink sweet tea, and watch the sun go down.  Not yet either.  Does all that sound superficial?  I don't know, but that's just what I've always envisioned.  None of it has happened yet, and that's okay...maybe it will one day and maybe it won't. 

One thing that HAS come true is being a business owner.  While it's amazing and a blessing, it scares me half to death.  It's kind of like running in the dark.  There are so many "unknowns" that come with starting a business that it can be overwhelming.  Quite honestly, that's how I've felt lately...completely and utterly o-v-e-r-w-h-e-l-m-e-d.  Thinking about all of the business components - advertising, social media, accounting, marketing, etc. - is enough to make me go cross-eyed.  Then, thinking about how it's up to me to provide flowers to a bride on her wedding day that will make her happy is super nerve-wracking.  Have I done this thousands of times?  Yes, but never under my name...always for someone else.  This time, this business is alllll on my shoulders.  I carry the responsibilities of the entire process, and it's a LOT of pressure.  Why do I put so much pressure on myself regarding the business?  Because I CARE.  So, not only do I have the pressure of making my business successful, I also have the pressure of wanting to accomplish a million things before the "big 3-0".  Even saying that just sounds weird...how am I seriously going to be 30 next year? 

Anywaaaays...allllll of this reflecting on the past and having anxiety about the future has taken a serious toll on me mentally and physically.  My mind is constantly running a million miles a minute, I haven't been getting enough sleep, and I have gained some weight...and I'm not talkin from muscles, I'm talkin from my ole buddy fluff.  I have been avoiding the scale, and when I stepped on it this morning, I was like this...

 

...not cool.  I know I know...that number doesn't mean everything, but dadgum.  That weight didn't come from gettin ripped, it came from gettin fluffy.  Blah.

 

So, with it being the new year and all...I have been in quite the predicament on my "New Years Resolutions".  Typically, I make this long list of things that I fully intend on accomplishing...which somehow usually fizzles out and doesn't end up happening.  A few weeks ago, I posted about all these things I was wanting to do.  Ever since then, I have been wondering...should I seriously try and tackle ALL of that?  Do I need that extra stress?  Am I being realistic?  Then I think, well yeah cause that's just what you do at the new year...you make goals and try to accomplish them.  Well, I have finally come to a decision.  Instead of expecting myself to be superwoman, I'm choosing to focus on ONE health/fitness goal.  Are you ready for it?....drumroll......budududududududu......

 

 

 

Get below 16% body fat.

 

 

 

Ching!

 

 

That's it.  No more little mini challenges with myself.  No more contemplating crazy obstacle course races.  No more certain weight on the scale.  No more particular clothes size.  Just a body fat percentage goal. 

 

The last time I had my body fat tested, it was in August, and I was at 24.6%.  I have no idea what I'm at now, but I'd probably guess around 28%. 

Besides shooting to melt some serious fat off my body, I am choosing one phrase to focus on for this whole year:

Live in the moment.

I'm really tired of dwelling on my past and how I could've done better, and I'm tired of worrying myself sick about possibly failing in the future.  I'm just done with it.  It's not helping me at all, doing me any good, and it's hindering me from being able to accomplish what I need to do in the present.

I've been reading a book called The Power of Now that my coach recommended to me a while back, and I'm only 71 pages in but have learned some really valuable tips on how to focus on the NOW.  Here are a few of the things I've highlighted so far:

"Accept-then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it.  Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy.  This will miraculously transform your whole life."

"This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.  You are in the here and now, while your mind is in the future.  This creates an anxiety gap.  And if you are identified with your mind and have lost touch with the power and simplicity of the Now, that anxiety gap will be your constant companion."

"The more you are focused on time - past and future - the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is."

I've got quite a bit more to read in the book, and I'm looking forward learning more.  It's amazing how reading and really thinking about things can change your whole perspective.

In this very moment, I'm thankful for my current situation.  I have a loving husband, the sweetest dog, a supportive family, a badass coach, amazing friends, a steady job, a growing business, a place to call home, and I'm alive. 



Am I taking an unconventional approach to 2015?  Probably so.  But I'm not conventional.  :) I'm just choosing to do what's best for me.  Right now, that means wiping the slate clean, focusing on the present, and doing my best...one. day. at. a. time. 


 

 

 

Here's to you, 2015!

Blog Post #821852247

So I've been sitting here trying to figure out what to call this post, because it's going to be full of random things.  I have lots on my mind that I just need to put out there, so be prepared for some bouncing around...

 

 

First, I want to start off with my trip to the spa last week.  Can you say heaven?  Yall, if you haven't been to Spa Reveil in the Domain, you need to go.   For real.  I purchased one of the package deals, and I had a $20 off coupon...so the price was not too shabby.  With any service you book, you get to use all of the amenities - locker room, showers, sauna, sanctuary lounge, etc.  So when you go, be prepared to take your time and stay a while (oh, and if they ask - tell 'em I referred ya!).  Anyways, that morning I got up and told my husband to not expect me for a few hours.  He said not to worry, to relax, and just let him know when I made it and when I was heading home.  So that's exactly what I did.  I packed a bag with a change of clothes and a protein bar, and I left.  When I got to the spa, I was like Heck YES.

 

I parked in one of the "spa only" parking spots like a fancy lady, and headed inside.  When I made it into the locker room, I changed into my robe and slippers, turned my phone off and left it in the locker, and went to the lounge to wait.  After my massage (which I'm pretty sure I drooled on the floor during), pedicure, and everything else - I decided to go check out the sauna, aka "hammam".  It's this dark room with tile all around the ceiling and floor, and marble slabs that you sit on.  I wrapped up in a towel, set the timer for 20 minutes, and went inside for what would be the most glorious 20 minutes of my day.  All you can hear is the sound of relaxing music piping in, the soft sound of the steam starting to fill the room, and the occasional drip of water.  I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, and just let go.  I didn't think about work, my business, what all I had to do, or anything else...just what was going on in that moment.  After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and all I could see was a foggy mist, and beads of sweat pouring off of me.  I closed my eyes again and made a promise to myself - that no matter what happens in the future or how crazy life gets, I will always take care of myself.  After I left the sauna, I took a shower and used loads of the shampoo and stuff in there just because I could.  It was great, and much needed.  Note to self: always have a spa day in the budget.

 

 

 

The week after that was pretty crazy.  I had two Christmas parties at work to plan, and I needed to finish shopping.  I'll admit, that promise I had made to myself went to the way-side a bit.  I let the stress of everything get to me, and I turned to food for comfort.  I only missed a couple days of working out though, so it wasn't a complete sabotage.  I made it through the week, and ended it with a Boot Camp Christmas Party.  I was a little nervous to go, but I went because I knew my friends would be there.  I literally sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes playing on my phone before I went in though, because I didn't want to walk in to a room full of people by myself (neeeerd alert!).  It may not seem like it online, but I'm really shy in person.  I don't like being in front of people, and I get really nervous in big crowds.  Anyway, I made it in, and had a blast!  My coach was there, along with all my friends and tons of other "campers". 

Love all of you! :)

 

I had a great time, and this was a much needed fun night after such a crazy week!  What I didn't expect was the random people coming up to me and saying, "I follow your blog...I'm a huge fan on Facebook...You're the reason I keep going!".  I was a bit speechless when this happened.  Afterwards, I felt like a total jerk because I realized I just kinda stood there when these people were trying to talk to me.  I promise it was purely because I didn't know what to say!!!!  I'm just a normal person, who happened to start a Facebook page, and a blog to try and show friends and family what I was doing to lose the fluff...I didn't intend on inspiring anybody or for it all to blow up like it has.  But dadgum, it's pretty dang cool!  I still don't get why I inspire people, but I'm just gonna keep on being me...and if that helps you in any way, then I am so glad!!  I figure if I can spark a fire in one person's life, then sharing my journey is alllll worth it.  :)  And if you ever see me out in public, please don't be afraid to say hi to me - I promise I'm not a snob, just quiet!!

 

 

After I got home,  I watched a Dr. Phil episode then went to bed.  I didn't wake up until 10:51!  I haven't slept in that late in YEARS, didn't know I could still do that.  When I got up, the hubs had already cleaned the kitchen...score!  Maybe I need to sleep in more often. 

:-P  I made us some breakfast (or, brunch I guess), and got started on cleaning up around the house.  We decided to decorate a gingerbread house together, and this is how it turned out...

 

 

Note: the gingerbread man is now a woman - hence the boobs (courtesy of the hubs)

 

 

After that, we got ready and headed to town to meet my family for supper and to walk around the square in downtown Georgetown.  If you're in the area and haven't done it yet, go check it out - it's really pretty with all the lights!  :)  We even stopped to take a pic together in front of a cute little church (don't kill me for posting this Joel)...

 

 

Next thing I knew, it was Sunday already.  I got up, conquered HEB, and went back home.  I finished up with laundry and cleaning, wrapped a few presents, helped my hubby with some woodwork (homemade gifts), and then parked it on the couch...for a looooong time.  I watched a movie, played games on my phone, and ate half a bag of white chocolate chips.  Then I ate pizza.  And I drank two vanilla cokes.  Yup.

 

Now it's Monday.  And Christmas is in 3 days.  Holy moly.  I think next year, I will just take the whole month of December off, and dedicate it to decorating, shopping, and wrapping presents.  :)  One can dream, right?  I've still got to get one more gift, wrap a few things, and make a ton of white chocolate peppermint bark tonight (and yes, I fully plan on eating some-quality control peeps).  We are heading out tomorrow night to head to Louisiana to visit my in-laws, and then coming back on Friday to do Christmas with my side of the family. 

 

After that, I will be in full-on work-mode (not work work, but for my business...I have a full-time job, and I run a business - yes, I'm crazy).  I've got a huge  2-day bridal show, a wedding, two wedding consultations, and another wedding show all planned for January.  After that, I've got weddings booked every month through June (except February...which I'm hoping will be filled with Valentine's Day orders?). 

 

How am I going to do it all?  Good question...I will just have to figure things out as I go.  You can only plan ahead so much, and then you just have to hope for the best.

 

There are lots of things going on in my life at this moment that are hard for me to believe...I own and operate my own business (which has been a dream for years), I'm going to be buying a house with my hubs (hopefully) next year, and I only have a year and 3 months to be a "20 something".  I don't have my life all "figured out" right now, and I dont know if I ever will.  All I know is that I'm chasing my dreams, and I'm trying not to lose myself in the process.  That being said, I have been doing alot of thinking about my health/fitness goals for next year.  Instead of having one huge goal that I'd like to obtain by the end of the year, I have lots of little ones...that I've broken up into 12-week phases:

 

 

Phase 1 (January-March):

• fix relationship with food
• get in the habit of tracking in myfitnesspal more consistently
• don't keep foods in the house that can trigger a binge
• learn that food is fuel, not therapy
• lose all fluff gained over the holidays
• finish reading The Power of Now
• stop worrying about what other people think
• fix form on exercises

 

Phase 2 (April-June):

• get below 22% body fat
• get stronger
• increase weight amounts in boot camp
• add in one day per week for solid weight lifting
• start training for BattleFrog
• go stand-up paddleboarding in a bikini...without shorts
 

Phase 3 (July-September):

• build more muscles
• increase weight amounts in boot camp again
• increase weight amounts on weight lifting days
• assess macros/calories; look for any possible necessary changes in eating habits
• be able to do at least 5 pull-ups
 

Phase 4 (October-December):

• get below 18% body fat
• go on a vacation with my hubs
• kick butt in the Austin Texas BattleFrog Obstacle Race 15K (scary? heck yes. bring it.) 
• http://battlefrogseries.com/
• http://youtu.be/MSkaorWbqaY



 

 

Since it will be my last year to be in my 20's, I plan on living the crap out of it. 

I will be completely transparent...sharing successes and failures, ups and downs, screw-ups and wins.  I've got big plans, and I can't wait to share them with yall!  Thank you to each and everyone one of you for even showing an interest in what I'm up to, supporting me through this whole year, and being there to listen to my crazy self.  Your support and encouragement means more to me than you'll ever know.

 

Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year Yall!!

 

 

Halloween Festivities + Confession

Is it seriously November 2nd?  Why does time have to go so fast?  Since I've been a little off the radar for the past week or so, I wanted to fill y'all in on what I've been up to...

If I could sum up the past week in 3 words, they'd be Tulle, Flowers, and Fatness.  Take a wild guess.......ding ding ding!  Yep, I went off track again.  Definitely just drove myself completely off the road, into a ditch, and kept on goin.  I know what you're thinking, imagine that-she messed up again.  And you're right, I did.  I ate fast food, candy corn, pizza, chocolate, and drank wine.  Why?  I wish I had a clear answer.  Maybe because Halloween made me feel like a kid again.  Maybe because I had a crap-ton of stuff to do and needed more hours in the day. Maybe because I put myself last on the list of things I had to take care of.

Besides my full-time job, I had flowers to do, tutus to make, dessert to make, and more.  There were a couple of times I even laughed at myself...like when I was doing kettle bell swings in a tutu,  spraypainting a pumpkin and doing flowers in a cape after boot camp, and when I actually delivered flowers in a tutu and cape (What? Your florist doesn't do that?).  Here are some pics...

Me and all my boot camp buddies(love them!!!):

 

 

Me and my co-workers (love them too!):

 

 



 

And fun flowers I made for a client's birthday:

By the time Friday afternoon hit, I. Was. DONE.  I was completely exhausted from all the madness, so I came home, took a shower, and watched Hocus Pocus then went to bed.  I know, I'm old.  On Saturday, I went shopping with just my Mom (which we haven't done in forever), washed my car, got groceries, and spent about 4 hours cleanin the house.  I even cleaned out the fridge.  It was great!  Now it's Sunday.  And guess what...it's a new day with a new opportunity to do things differently.  

I know I started a "Holiday Hottie Challenge" last month, but I'm not doing it anymore.  Mostly because I don't want to have a finish line, and I feel weird calling myself a holiday hottie (jingle babe sounds cooler, right?).  That being said, I'm going to start a long process that I like to call "burnin fluff".  Which means logging everything I eat (cause it keeps me honest), continuing to workout even on weekends, and pushing myself to do better from the inside out.  Just to keep myself accountable, I will be posting a progress pic at the end of each month to see how I'm doing.  

Even though I had a blast last week, I didn't enjoy the feelings of guilt from stuffin my face with junk.  I don't want to go back to the old fluff-covered self-conscious me.  I want some muscles and confidence.  I'm tired of backtracking, and I want to move forward.  Is it going to be hard especially because of the time of year it is?  Yes, duh.  But I can manage it.  Why?  Cause I'm a champ.  And champs don't quit.  

Let's Get Real...

So, for the past few days, I have been feeling the urge to just lay it all out there.  Not only because there are some things I would like to get off my chest, but also because I feel the need to explain a little more in depth about where my head’s at currently.  So if that interests you, feel free to continue…if not, adios amigo.

Most of yall already know my story, but for those of you that don’t – here’s a short version… I started this “journey” in February of 2013.  I decided to do something about my weight and health because I was sick of being uncomfortable.  I was tired of having to buy bigger pants, tired of not feeling attractive, and just wanted to be in better shape.  This is me when I started:

 

I joined Synergy Fitness Boot Camp in Austin, which terrified and excited me all at the same time.  Little did I know that walking in those doors would change my whole world.  I traded out my baggy sweat pants for yoga pants (first time in my whole life), I started eating vegetables…even the green ones (another first), and I started getting stronger.  It was a huge lifestyle change, and I guess I just wasn’t ready yet.  I quit everything in August of 2013, and reverted back to all of my old habits…eating cheez-its with cheese melted on top, icing out of the can, drinking wine, being lazy, hiding on the couch, and basically just stuffing my feelings down with food.  By the time January hit, I had had enough.  Even though I was nervous about the cost of boot camp, I knew it was what I needed.  So, I joined again.  And I have stuck with it.  I can’t believe that was almost a year ago already. 

 

 

I have learned a lot about myself over this period of time.  My first round of boot camp was exciting, fun, and interesting.  My body changed, I met new people, and I started to feel like a different person.  But, after quitting for a few months…I realized that I still had a LONG way to go.

This second round of boot camp is different.  This time, there is no finish line…I’m doing this because my health and happiness is a priority to me now…and I am changing every day.  I have FRIENDS, confidence, and I go after the things I want out of life.  

 

I’d love to sit here and tell you all how perfect I am all the time and only eat healthy and work out consistently…but that’s not the truth.  I have my ups and downs just like everyone else.  My relationship with food is a constant issue, which requires a ton of effort and focus for me every single meal, every single day (seriously, I could write a whole separate post on this).  There are weeks that I don’t care, don’t want to think, and I eat junk food and don’t work out (shocker!).  But these weeks always lead me right back to where I left off...why?  Well, for one thing – I hate the way that makes me feel.  It makes me feel like the old me.  I get all depressed, down on myself, and just am not in a good place. 

Eating healthy and working out truly makes me feel like a different person, and when I stray away from that - es no bueno.

That being said, I don’t want anyone out there to think that I am trying to put on a “hey look at me, I’m perfect at this healthy lifestyle stuff!” show.  That’s not why I started a Facebook page, and it’s not why I started this blog.  I started my FB page as a result of friends and family asking me questions all the time about what I was doing to lose the weight.  I figured that sharing what I do on a daily basis (what I eat, exercises I do, quotes that motivate me) would maybe help them in some way since they were interested.  That's why I post pics of food, recipes, and sweaty selfies all the time...This being healthy thing was all new to me not that long ago (and I am STILL learning), so I thought that if I could shed some light on my personal experiences – successes AND failures – then maybe I could inspire someone else to change their life.  It grew way bigger than I could have ever imagined, which I still can't wrap my head around.  I'm nobody special yall...just a plain ole girl trying to get the most out of life.  I'm no expert in living a healthy lifestyle, no personal trainer, or anything like that - I just know what works for me.  But hey, if I can help at least one person out there accomplish their goals or conquer their fears - then, mission accomplished.  :)

I started my blog because my awesome coach mentioned it to me.  I thought, “hey, I’ve never done a blog before but that sounds cool”-so voila…I made a blog.  It may not be the most organized thing in the world, but hey – it's all good.  It helps me keep my recipes in one place and also gives me the opportunity to look back and see how I have progressed.

I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I know one thing’s for sure…I like the direction I’m headed.  Yes, my life is crazy…

 

 

...but I love it.  I still haven’t figured out how to master juggling between a full-time job, owning a business, and everything in between – but I am getting there.  I may have banana peels on my floorboard, carry a million bags around with me every day, have a never-ending pile of dirty laundry, and flower petals flying out the windows of my car…but hey, it's my life.

A healthy lifestyle is not about perfection, it's about progress.  I'm a real person, with real issues, struggles, obstacles, time constraints, and stress just like you.  I just happened to figure out along the way that typing my feelings onto a screen is like some sort of therapy, so I share everything.  Not because I have to, but because I want to.  So, please don't judge me when you see my screw ups - I'm just keepin it real.  In conclusion, I hope that my IMperfect journey has in some way inspired you to chase your dreams and become who you really want to be!  Thank you for your support, taking the time to read this, and for hangin with me while I progress along this crazy journey!!!  

 

Cinnamon Vanilla Protein Mugcake

This is just a quick, easy, and yummy dessert I whipped up last night!  I topped mine with white chocolate wonderful peanut butter, honey, and pumpkin spice milano cookies...YUM! :)