Wow, it's been a long time since I've written a blog post. I haven't even thought about this blog in months, and it feels a little weird to actually want to be doing this right now. It almost feels like this blog isn't even mine anymore, ha. My coach asked me the other day if I've sat down and gotten all my feelings out lately, and this has been on my mind ever since.
So, I've had a lot going on lately. I turned 31 in March. Which is weird. How am I 31? And why is it that when you turn 30 something, your news feed is suddenly filled with everyone popping out babies? And why is it suddenly expected that you should be popping out babies too? I don't get it. Ever since I turned 30 last year, it's like this big fat cloud that follows me around. It comes from people I know and people I don't know. "Hi, I'm Kelli, how are you?" ... "Nice to meet you! How many little ones do you have?". I mean really? Do I just have a sign on my forehead that says ASK ME ABOUT BABIES? Or do I just look older now which means I'm a weirdo for not having a kid? And do people just not think before asking such a personal question? I mean, what if we couldn't have kids/don't want kids/had lost a kid, etc? And why is it your business? I just think it's weird for people to ask me this, and it's annoying to be honest. Yes, I'm 31. No, I don't have a kid. Back. Off.
I am, however, a business owner. Which comes with so many responsibilities that I can't even begin to explain how it feels. I am pursuing my passion, and I absolutely love it. But that doesn't mean it's easy. I do e v e r y t h i n g. And I like it that way. Cause I'm the boss, and I can do that. :) Yes, it's a challenge. Yes, sometimes I think to myself "this would be a great job for an intern". But at the end of the day, I like being able to pat myself on the back for a dang good job well done.
Business has been growing like crazy lately...and I mean like, almost doubling every year. With more business comes more responsibilities, and taxes. Did I mention taxes? Yeah, I hate them. People don't realize that entrepreneurs have to pay sales taxes AND self-employment taxes. And the more you make, the more you pay. Yuck. More business has also meant more inventory, and less space. I'm seriously busting out of my studio. Luckily, we will be moving in a few months, which means a bigger workspace. Yes! I also got tired of renting Uhauls every weekend. I was renting so many that it didn't make sense anymore. So, I decided to buy a van. I have never bought a new vehicle, ever. My husband and I both drive vehicles that are 2007 or older (this will be important to know later). After looking online and talking to a few local dealerships, I found the van I wanted. In Spring...which is about 3 hours away. Whatever, it was the van I wanted so we went and got it. I felt like hey, I'm adulting, this is weird but nice. A few days later, I delivered my first wedding with the van. I was in the process of tearing down (you know, the part where you go back like 5 hours after you set everything up, and take it all down). I laid the key down on the ground. I began working on tearing down. I was ready to go, and reached for the key. Which was no longer there. I started looking around, thinking well maybe it just got kicked in the grass or something. Nope. Couldn't find it. Had the planner ask around, and nobody had seen it. Great. I'm locked out of my van, with no spare key (since the dealer only gave me one), my phone and purse and everything else is inside the van, awesome. I had to borrow a phone and call my insurance company to see if I could get someone to come out and unlock the van. Apparently there are companies who come unlock things and can make a new key on the spot (I didn't know this). So, that was my mission. I spent the next few hours outside calling and waiting calling and waiting calling and waiting on locksmiths. It was during this time that I learned that since my van was a 2014 model(which apparently anything past 2010 or older or something like that has computer programmed keys), it had a "special key". A laser-cut, can only order it from the factory, which takes a week to arrive key. COOL! On top of that, the van has a super complicated security system, making it almost impossible to unlock without a key. This was just the beginning of what turned into a week-long, almost $1000 process of getting my van back. To top it all off, the dealership (3 hours away) made me drive back to them to resign the paperwork (because of their mistake). I won't go into anymore detail because it's a very long story that nobody probably even cares about. And thinking about the whole situation just brings back feelings of stress. So, let's just say that buying my first vehicle did not go like I had imagined.
I also had no idea that cargo vans require insulation. Because who thinks about insulating their vehicle? Not me. I figured this out after feeling the heat radiating off of the metal inside the van, thinking to myself...um my flowers are all going to die in here. So, thus began the insulating process. Which happened to be right in the middle of the week of my biggest wedding of the year so far. So, I was getting up at 5, working out, coming home to my studio, and doing prep work for the wedding, then working in the van with Joel until it got dark at 8. Every day. As if that wasn't exhausting enough, the wedding itself was even more exhausting. And it wouldn't even all fit in the van. Ha. It did go well though. After that was over, I had a couple of days and then it was time for another big weekend. 3 weddings in 2 days. The first two weddings started at the same time and were located an hour apart. So that was fun. They also both required tear-down. Then, I got up and did another wedding the next day. My hubs was right there by my side through it all (thank God), but man was it mentally and physically exhausting. While all of this is going on, I've got emails coming in from new and current brides. I also got sick, thanks pollen. Oh, and our house ac hasn't been working. Yall know how fun it is to sleep in a hot house with chigger bites? Which has lead to me still having a van and a car full of semi-dead flowers and a bunch of wedding stuff. Tired is an understatement.
So, with all of THAT going on...I'm also participating in a Fat Loss Challenge through the gym. At the beginning, I was all pumped up about it. I didn't want to sign up unless I was going to WIN! And I had that mindset. Until life just happened. Weighing and tracking my food seemed like a waste of time when I had a crap ton of flowers I needed to get done. So, quick and easy meals made more sense. Problem is, those quick and easy meals were not usually healthy (ahem, pizza). I started slacking on my food, which made me mad because I had a crazy tracking streak in My Fitness Pal of like 200+ days or something. Now I have no streak. I also started slacking on my workouts. I used to go M-T like clockwork. I started skipping Thursdays because I had SO much to do, and started skipping Mondays because I was whooped. And my body was tired anyway from climbing ladders and lifting things. Somehow through all of this, I have only gained 4 pounds. I don't know how that's even possible. But I'll take it I guess. I've been back to the gym twice this week, but I can't seem to get motivated to care about food right now. It's really annoying because I wanted to win this fat loss challenge (hello money), but I am feeling totally defeated. Sucks.
I was thinking yesterday morning though...when life gets crazy and you feel out of control, there is one thing you can control. And that's how well you take care of yourself. You can either let all the madness around you affect your self-care, or you can tell it all to hold on while you go do your thing. So, I am currently working on that. This weekend is my last weekend off before having 12 wedding weekends in a row. 12. In a row. I fully intend on using my birthday gift card to take a spa day at some point, cleaning out the fridge, and getting my head back on straight.
So far, being 31 has been a little rough. But it's also been pretty fun at times. For me, being 31 means fearlessly being yourself. Being 31 means being physically stronger than I've ever been, chasing my dreams, learning how to run a successful wedding business in the middle of Austin, loving the crap out of my husband, and doing the best I can. Being 31 is embracing my imperfections, learning from my mistakes, and continually moving forward. I may not be the typical 31 year old, but that's okay. Cause I'm being myself!
