Halloween Festivities + Confession

Is it seriously November 2nd?  Why does time have to go so fast?  Since I've been a little off the radar for the past week or so, I wanted to fill y'all in on what I've been up to...

If I could sum up the past week in 3 words, they'd be Tulle, Flowers, and Fatness.  Take a wild guess.......ding ding ding!  Yep, I went off track again.  Definitely just drove myself completely off the road, into a ditch, and kept on goin.  I know what you're thinking, imagine that-she messed up again.  And you're right, I did.  I ate fast food, candy corn, pizza, chocolate, and drank wine.  Why?  I wish I had a clear answer.  Maybe because Halloween made me feel like a kid again.  Maybe because I had a crap-ton of stuff to do and needed more hours in the day. Maybe because I put myself last on the list of things I had to take care of.

Besides my full-time job, I had flowers to do, tutus to make, dessert to make, and more.  There were a couple of times I even laughed at myself...like when I was doing kettle bell swings in a tutu,  spraypainting a pumpkin and doing flowers in a cape after boot camp, and when I actually delivered flowers in a tutu and cape (What? Your florist doesn't do that?).  Here are some pics...

Me and all my boot camp buddies(love them!!!):

 

 

Me and my co-workers (love them too!):

 

 



 

And fun flowers I made for a client's birthday:

By the time Friday afternoon hit, I. Was. DONE.  I was completely exhausted from all the madness, so I came home, took a shower, and watched Hocus Pocus then went to bed.  I know, I'm old.  On Saturday, I went shopping with just my Mom (which we haven't done in forever), washed my car, got groceries, and spent about 4 hours cleanin the house.  I even cleaned out the fridge.  It was great!  Now it's Sunday.  And guess what...it's a new day with a new opportunity to do things differently.  

I know I started a "Holiday Hottie Challenge" last month, but I'm not doing it anymore.  Mostly because I don't want to have a finish line, and I feel weird calling myself a holiday hottie (jingle babe sounds cooler, right?).  That being said, I'm going to start a long process that I like to call "burnin fluff".  Which means logging everything I eat (cause it keeps me honest), continuing to workout even on weekends, and pushing myself to do better from the inside out.  Just to keep myself accountable, I will be posting a progress pic at the end of each month to see how I'm doing.  

Even though I had a blast last week, I didn't enjoy the feelings of guilt from stuffin my face with junk.  I don't want to go back to the old fluff-covered self-conscious me.  I want some muscles and confidence.  I'm tired of backtracking, and I want to move forward.  Is it going to be hard especially because of the time of year it is?  Yes, duh.  But I can manage it.  Why?  Cause I'm a champ.  And champs don't quit.  

Let's Get Real...

So, for the past few days, I have been feeling the urge to just lay it all out there.  Not only because there are some things I would like to get off my chest, but also because I feel the need to explain a little more in depth about where my head’s at currently.  So if that interests you, feel free to continue…if not, adios amigo.

Most of yall already know my story, but for those of you that don’t – here’s a short version… I started this “journey” in February of 2013.  I decided to do something about my weight and health because I was sick of being uncomfortable.  I was tired of having to buy bigger pants, tired of not feeling attractive, and just wanted to be in better shape.  This is me when I started:

 

I joined Synergy Fitness Boot Camp in Austin, which terrified and excited me all at the same time.  Little did I know that walking in those doors would change my whole world.  I traded out my baggy sweat pants for yoga pants (first time in my whole life), I started eating vegetables…even the green ones (another first), and I started getting stronger.  It was a huge lifestyle change, and I guess I just wasn’t ready yet.  I quit everything in August of 2013, and reverted back to all of my old habits…eating cheez-its with cheese melted on top, icing out of the can, drinking wine, being lazy, hiding on the couch, and basically just stuffing my feelings down with food.  By the time January hit, I had had enough.  Even though I was nervous about the cost of boot camp, I knew it was what I needed.  So, I joined again.  And I have stuck with it.  I can’t believe that was almost a year ago already. 

 

 

I have learned a lot about myself over this period of time.  My first round of boot camp was exciting, fun, and interesting.  My body changed, I met new people, and I started to feel like a different person.  But, after quitting for a few months…I realized that I still had a LONG way to go.

This second round of boot camp is different.  This time, there is no finish line…I’m doing this because my health and happiness is a priority to me now…and I am changing every day.  I have FRIENDS, confidence, and I go after the things I want out of life.  

 

I’d love to sit here and tell you all how perfect I am all the time and only eat healthy and work out consistently…but that’s not the truth.  I have my ups and downs just like everyone else.  My relationship with food is a constant issue, which requires a ton of effort and focus for me every single meal, every single day (seriously, I could write a whole separate post on this).  There are weeks that I don’t care, don’t want to think, and I eat junk food and don’t work out (shocker!).  But these weeks always lead me right back to where I left off...why?  Well, for one thing – I hate the way that makes me feel.  It makes me feel like the old me.  I get all depressed, down on myself, and just am not in a good place. 

Eating healthy and working out truly makes me feel like a different person, and when I stray away from that - es no bueno.

That being said, I don’t want anyone out there to think that I am trying to put on a “hey look at me, I’m perfect at this healthy lifestyle stuff!” show.  That’s not why I started a Facebook page, and it’s not why I started this blog.  I started my FB page as a result of friends and family asking me questions all the time about what I was doing to lose the weight.  I figured that sharing what I do on a daily basis (what I eat, exercises I do, quotes that motivate me) would maybe help them in some way since they were interested.  That's why I post pics of food, recipes, and sweaty selfies all the time...This being healthy thing was all new to me not that long ago (and I am STILL learning), so I thought that if I could shed some light on my personal experiences – successes AND failures – then maybe I could inspire someone else to change their life.  It grew way bigger than I could have ever imagined, which I still can't wrap my head around.  I'm nobody special yall...just a plain ole girl trying to get the most out of life.  I'm no expert in living a healthy lifestyle, no personal trainer, or anything like that - I just know what works for me.  But hey, if I can help at least one person out there accomplish their goals or conquer their fears - then, mission accomplished.  :)

I started my blog because my awesome coach mentioned it to me.  I thought, “hey, I’ve never done a blog before but that sounds cool”-so voila…I made a blog.  It may not be the most organized thing in the world, but hey – it's all good.  It helps me keep my recipes in one place and also gives me the opportunity to look back and see how I have progressed.

I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I know one thing’s for sure…I like the direction I’m headed.  Yes, my life is crazy…

 

 

...but I love it.  I still haven’t figured out how to master juggling between a full-time job, owning a business, and everything in between – but I am getting there.  I may have banana peels on my floorboard, carry a million bags around with me every day, have a never-ending pile of dirty laundry, and flower petals flying out the windows of my car…but hey, it's my life.

A healthy lifestyle is not about perfection, it's about progress.  I'm a real person, with real issues, struggles, obstacles, time constraints, and stress just like you.  I just happened to figure out along the way that typing my feelings onto a screen is like some sort of therapy, so I share everything.  Not because I have to, but because I want to.  So, please don't judge me when you see my screw ups - I'm just keepin it real.  In conclusion, I hope that my IMperfect journey has in some way inspired you to chase your dreams and become who you really want to be!  Thank you for your support, taking the time to read this, and for hangin with me while I progress along this crazy journey!!!  

 

Cinnamon Vanilla Protein Mugcake

This is just a quick, easy, and yummy dessert I whipped up last night!  I topped mine with white chocolate wonderful peanut butter, honey, and pumpkin spice milano cookies...YUM! :)

 

 

Re-Cap: Craziest Week I've Had in a Long Time!

I just want to start out by saying that this post is going to be a little bit all over the place (sorry)...and not really too health and fitness related...it's just a re-cap of what my life has been like lately and what I've been up to!  :)

As some of yall know, I recently started my own business creating floral designs for weddings, special events, etc.  This has been a life-long dream of mine, and I am finally going for it!!  After going through college, and working to make other florists' dreams come true...it's my turn.  I definitely feel like I am sprinting through the woods in the dark because I have no idea where this will lead.  All I know is that this past week has felt like a dream, was very surreal, and flat out crazy! 

On Monday, this is what I felt like:

 

I knew I had a bunch of stuff to do, I was scared, and I didn't know how I was going to do it all.  So, instead of freaking out...I TRIED to take things one day at a time.  On Tuesday, my flowers arrived for my tv segment.  Yeah, tv.  Me...on tv.  WHAT?!  After getting my butt kicked at boot camp, I went back to my office to pick up my flowers, and it was raining...not just a sprinkle...I'm talkin RAINING.  So I got drenched.

 

I made it home to my studio, and put together a really fun centerpiece.  All the while thinking to myself...I'm making flowers...for tv.  This is a BIG DEAL!!!!!!  Not only am I shy, don't like talking in front of people, and don't like being the center of attention, but I am going to be talking in front of big cameras about MY business! 

 

 

 

Once my centerpiece was done, I had to figure out what to wear.  Before I knew it...I was in downtown Austin at the KXAN building, sitting in the green room, getting a microphone hooked on, and waiting for my turn to be interviewed. 

 

 

The producer could tell I was super nervous, and he told me that if I felt like I was going to vomit, to just project it onto the host because it would make for great tv!  Luckily, I was scheduled to go last, so I got to piddle around a little bit.  While I was waiting, I even got to sit behind the desk and pretend I was a reporter!

 

 

Next thing I knew, it was my turn to go on.  My mind was racing, people were looking at me, and I was just like holy crap holy crap holy crap.  The host was so sweet, and she made me feel more at ease before we got started.  Then, it was "5...4...3...2...1..." roll!!

 

Surprisingly, I actually did okay.  I felt my face turning red one time, but other than that - it was great!  Here's a link to the video:

 

http://kxan.com/2014/09/17/nature-inspired-floral-design-with-sweetwater-stems/

 

Once it was over, I loaded up and headed to work.  I hadn't packed a lunch and didn't eat hardly anything for breakfast because I was so dang nervous.  So, I decided what the heck I'm going to Wendy's.  Sure enough, as I eat my first french fry, I get a text from my coach saying that she is thinking about me!  I looked around like what the heck...how does she know!?!?!  Haha!  Needless to say, I didn't go to boot camp that day.  Not only was I mentally exhausted, but I knew I would probably hurl after that meal.

 

The next day, I was going full steam ahead in preparation for the Bridal Extravaganza.  I have worked these type of shows for other businesses, but never for my own business.  Let me just say that when you are doing things for your own business, there is WAY more pressure.  It's your name, your reputation, and your future on the line - so it adds an extra element of stress.  Anyway, I spent the next two days getting everything together - fabric, album, sign up sheets, etc.  I decided to take Friday off of work (yes I have a full time job too), so that I could focus on getting ready.  I had to pick up my flowers from the wholesaler, buy more supplies, pick up rentals, pay bills, and prep.  In the middle of all that, I went and had lunch with my coach.  It was so nice to get a break from the madness for a little bit!  She told me to stop worrying about the "what ifs" and worrying about the future and to focus on what matters right here and now.  I know she is 100% right, but that is super hard for me to do because I am a planner.  In my mind, everything must be organized, perfect, and ready to go.  So, focusing on just one thing at a time is a challenge...but I am working on it!!!!!! :) 

 

Oh yeah, something else really cool happened that day too...I got a message from a nutrition and exercise coach with Biotrust asking me if I would write a review for a new program they are introducing in the near future...and in return, they are sending me products!  I mean, how cool is that?!  I'm not sure why I am deserving of that, but I am very thankful because I haven't been able to save up for protein powder from them in a while!

 

So Friday night, we went to set up everything but the flowers at the Palmer Events Center. 

 

 

My husband had to goof off...  :)

 

Then, I spent all day Saturday (no really...from 9am-12am) getting everything done...the sign, flower wall, centerpiece, orchids, and everything else.  I got 5 hours of sleep, then it was time to go!!!!  We loaded up the car and headed out.  Luckily we were one of the first vendors there, so we were able to get everything set up pretty quickly.

 

We had a few minutes to spare, so we walked around to scope out the other booths while waiting on my friend Vani to arrive.  Vani is someone I met through boot camp, and she has become a great friend of mine!!  Once she got there, my hubby left, and we started getting ready.  I had been so nervous for weeks about the show because I'm not outgoing at all, but I was surprisingly calm.  Before I knew it, the doors opened and herds of brides flooded in.  What I wasn't expecting was one of my other boot camp friends to show up - Kim!  She came to show her support, and she even went and got us some wedding cake to snack on (hey, don't judge me...we were at a bridal show!).  Time flew by, I actually had a blast, and everything went better than I could have ever expected!

 

After the show was over, we got home around 8:00, showered, and then it was time for Monday - already!!!!!  ....And now it's Tuesday. 

 

So, there you have it...my week in review.  I basically lived off of Whataburger and trail mix, I didn't track anything I ate, and I only worked out 3 times.  Yes, I could've done things differently and kept my head on straight with being healthy, but I didn't.  I have no excuses, and I have no regrets.  Last week was a huge week not only for my business but for me personally.  Words cannot express the gratitude I have for everyone's support and encouragement!  And pardon me for getting mushy here, but my husband is seriously the best.  He stood by me the entire week, late nights, early mornings and all...he was there.  When I just about had a melt down, he gave me a pep talk...when I didn't have time to leave and get something to eat, he brought me food...when I was working the show, he went and got groceries...he built several things for my booth...he encouraged me, believed in me, and he was my rock.  I am so thankful to have him, and I can't brag enough on how much he helped me.  I could not have made it through last week without him...seriously!!!

 

So, what now?  Well, I am just trying to stop my head from spinning.  It's time to get back on track with my food and with working out.  I wish I could say that I was perfect all last week, but I wasn't.  I still don't know how to juggle everything all at once, and it will take time to figure out...but for now, I'm just going to take it one day at a time and make each day a success!  :)  Here we go!!!

 

   

 

 

 

Lately...

I have been debating on whether or not to write this blog post for the past few days.  I do my best to be as real and transparent with my journey as possible because I'm an honest person, and I think that if sharing my struggles can help one person out there-then it's worth it.  So don't judge me.  With that being said, here's what's been going on in my world lately.

On Friday night, I went out to dinner with my boot camp buddies.  We went to a Mexican restaurant, and I had 3 margaritas, bean and cheese quesadillas, and chips.  I had a blast!  I remember thinking...I'm in a fancy restaurant, in Austin, with friends, sweet!  I haven't had a group of close friends since high school, so it's a big deal to me.  

On Saturday, I went to a birthday party with my hubby.  I ate a hot dog, chips, cookie cake, and I drank an entire bottle of wine.  Yes, I said a whole bottle.  I haven't been to a house party in like 3 years, and it was fun.  

Now it's Sunday.  And I'm sitting on the grass in the middle of the park with sweat dripping off my nose from doing a rough workout.  It's the same workout I like to do on the weekends, except this time I was only able to do it for one round...barely.  I got up this morning and cooked some food to grab and go for the week, then decided it was time to sweat.  Mission accomplished.

For about a week now, I have been doing lots of thinking.  I've made it a point to turn off the tv, be still, and just think.  Why am I doing this?  What are my goals?  What made me start this?  What's driving me?  Why am I so stressed out?  Why do I keep screwing up?  Why am I so hard on myself?  

First off, I started this journey for ME.  I want to be healthy and in shape because I want to have a good life.  I like being able to do things I used to couldn't, and I like the way I feel when I'm taking care of myself.  I started my Facebook page and blog because I wanted to show people the true story of a normal person working to get healthy...struggles and all.  It also helps me to look back and see my progress.  

Second, I think I have been super stressed out because of the amount of changes that are happening so fast in my life.  I started a business in March, and it took off like a dadgum wildfire before I even blinked.  I changed my eating habits from "clean" and the same meal plan every single day to iifym (if it fits your macros).  Those two things have had a huge impact on me. My spare time is no longer spent just hanging out, I'm constantly thinking about/working on my business and trying to make it a success.  I spend more time logging food and trying to figure out what to eat.  IIFYM opened up the door to foods I have restricted myself from for so long that it's hard for me to not go crazy.  I mean, I didn't eat anything that wasn't on my meal plan, and now I can eat whatever I want (within reason) that fits my macros.  Not gonna lie, I love iifym, but it has been a real mental struggle for me to make that transition.  I know what to do, but that doesn't make it easy!  

Third, my body is changing.  People say things to me like "You're smaller every time I see you...your arms are getting muscular...your butt looks really good...your muscle definition is awesome"...and I honestly want to turn around to make sure they aren't talking to someone behind me.  These are all things that I have not heard often, cause I was always fluffy.  I just don't see it as much as they do I guess.  From my reflection to pictures, it's hard for me to see unless I put pictures side by side.  When I was in 7th grade, someone (who was supposed to be my boyfriend) called me a "tank ass", and I used to knock stuff over with my butt cause it was so big.  That has stuck with me for years, and that's probably why I'm so self conscious of my lower half.  So when I get complimented on that area, it's weird.

Wow, I am totally rambling.  So, back to what I've been thinking about lately...goals.  I have new ones.  I want to hit 19% body fat by the end of this year, I'm going to start lifting weights, and reading more books.  I'm going to remember that I have to take things one step at a time and stop trying to do a thousand things all at once.  I'm going to focus on building muscle and burning fat.  I'm going to remember that food is fuel, not therapy.  I'm going to breathe.  And I'm going to remember what my coach told me the other day.  She said "You are you and that alone is enough".  

It's easy to get caught up in the race sometimes and feel like you have to compete.  But you don't.  Titles, money, and things don't make you who you are.  You are you, and that's enough.

:)

Pumpkin French Toast Casserole

Want to know a little secret about me?  I love Hobby Lobby.  It's my favorite place to go on my lunch break because I can just walk around, look at all the fun stuff, and disappear into creative-ville.  They already have all of their Fall and Christmas stuff out, which is awesome because my favorite time of year is approaching...Fall and then CHRISTMAS!!!!  :)  Seeing all of the Fall decorations got my wheels turning, and I decided to experiment with a Fall-ish recipe.  I've never made a baked french toast anything so I figured I'd give it a shot, and I was surprised at how good it turned out!  Here's how I made it:

Ingredients:

 

• 12 slices Nature's Own 50 calorie per slice sourdough bread

• 305g (about 1 cup) canned pumpkin

• 3 egg whites

• 3 whole eggs

• 10 stevia packets

• 1 tbsp. cinnamon

• 1/2 tbsp. pumpkin pie spice

• 1 tbsp. vanilla extract

• 50g slivered almonds

• 12 oz. reduced sugar vanilla almond milk

• 4 slices maple turkey bacon

 

 

 

Once I got all my ingredients together, I started with the bacon.  I preheated the oven to 400 degrees, and put 4 pieces onto a cookie sheet lined with foil.  I let them cook for about 20 minutes, and some of the corners burned but that's okay.  Once they were cooked, I laid them on a paper towel then chopped them up into squares.  I let them cool then put them in a ziplock bag and into the fridge.

 

 

Next, I chopped the bread into squares.  I let it sit out for a little while so it would get a little bit stale. 

 

 

 

Then, I put all the bread into a nonstick 9x13 baking dish.  I made sure the bottom was covered, then just spread the rest out evenly.

 

 

 

After that, I topped it with the slivered almonds.

 

 

 

Next, I dumped the pumpkin, egg whites, eggs, stevia, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, almond milk, and vanilla extract into a bowl.

 

 

 

Once I had it blended together, I poured it on top of the bread (check out that action shot)!

 

 

 

Then, I spread it out with a spatula and gently pressed it down into the bread.

 

 

 

Next, I covered it up with foil and let it sit in the fridge for about 8 hours.

 

 

I took it out of the fridge, unwrapped it, and topped it with the bacon that I had previously cooked.

 

 

 

I put it in a 350 degree oven for about 35-40 minutes, and it came out like this (don't mind the messed up corner - I was making sure it was cooked).   :)

 

 

 

I cut it into 6 servings, grabbed a piece, topped it with some low calorie/low sugar maple syrup and chowed down.

 

 

 

The almonds add in a crunch, and the bacon (yes I burned it, oops) adds in some salty with the sweet...so yummy!  I loved it, my hubby loved it, and I will definitely be making this again!  This is one of those dishes you can throw together the night before and bake in the morning while you are getting ready...and who doesn't love a hot breakfast?  :)

 

 

Here's the nutritional breakdown per serving (makes 6 servings):

• Calories:  264

• Protein:  18

• Carbs:  35

• Fat:  9

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Decisions

Last week, my hubs and I got up and went to church.  I learned so much from the sermon that I want to share it.  That being said, if you don't want to read this post for that reason - I will take no offense and hope you have a great day!  :)
 
So, the preacher (Bryan) started the sermon by showing a video clip.  It had a few scenes in it, but what stuck out the most was when they showed a tombstone and said "Your life is just a dash between dates."  That totally stuck with me because it's true. 
 
The year 2013 was the most difficult year of my life.  I lost 3 loved ones within a matter of months, and it still hurts to think about it.  When I saw the videoclip of a tombstone on the screen, I couldn't help but think about all of my loved ones who have passed.  At the end of the day, what the video said was right...just a dash between dates.
 
Once the video was over, and the preacher was a good ways into the sermon - I realized that what he was saying can apply to lots of things, especially health and fitness.  So, that's why I'm sharing.  :)
 
The topic of the sermon was about making decisions...how they affect your life, the lives of those around you, and your future.  In order to make the best decision, there are 4 things you should always ask yourself:

1. Would I want everyone to know?
2. Will it make me a better person?
3. Could it become addictive?
4. Will it harm other people?

...Would you want your coach to know you skipped reps at the end of boot camp?  Will that piece of chocolate cake or can of frosting truly make you better?  Do you have to have that glass of wine at the end of work to de-stress? 
 
I know I've said this before, but yall...life is shorter than you think. It's so easy to get caught up in things that don't matter that you can lose sight of that. That's why it's important to live a life that you are proud of, make the most of every opportunity, and chase your dreams. I've been asked before, "How do you stay so determined? Where do you get your drive?" - and it all boils down to: life is short. Yes, I certainly have my "off" days and make mistakes, but I have a will to succeed in life. I want to be the best version of ME so that I can accomplish my dreams - be a Mom one day (no, not any day soon), run a successful business, be able to do fun things with my hubby when I'm gray-headed, and be confident.
 
Some of you may have already seen the pictures below, but I'm posting it on here for those of you who don't have Facebook (ahem...Kim!) and so you can see the difference between these two girls. 
 
On the left:  completely CLUELESS about how to eat and workout...fake smile...uncomfortable...not really happy on the inside...would have never dreamed of wearing spandex pants or eating green vegetables

On the right:  strong...knowledgeable about food and fitness...confident...happy...ambitious...a fighter

My road to getting healthy and fit has been everything but perfect...I've flat out quit, lost, gained, succeeded, failed...but ya know what?  We all start somewhere.  All those little decisions along the way that you think don't really matter...DO!  Am I where I want to be yet?  No, but I'm a heck of a lot closer than I've ever been, and I've gotten to this point one step at a time.

Are you happy with the person you see in the mirror every day, or do you wish you were different? Do you truly like who you are? Do you feel like you are getting the most out of life? If not...stop wasting your own time and do something about it!!   Right NOW!   Start making some decisions to improve your life instead of wishing it away.  You are the only person who can change yourself, so don't wait around on some magical moment or some person to come do it for you. Get up and go!  Start each day with a goal to improve, then finish strong. If you fall down, get back up. Never give up on what you truly want out of life. Make the best decisions you can, make your life count, and enjoy the ride! 

"What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." -James 4:14