You're Addicted to WHAT?

I know this may sound silly because most people are addicted to things like alcohol or drugs, but it IS totally possible to have a food addiction – trust me, I know!  I got an invitation through email at work to attend a webinar about food addiction at the beginning of this year, and I decided what the heck, I'll listen in on it.  Let me just tell y'all – it was seriously scary!  Not because of the content, but because it made me realize that I used to have a real problem.

I’m about to share some things with y'all that a lot of people don’t know about me.  Don't get too excited, it's nothing crazy!  Drum roll................I used to be a food addict.  My days were focused and planned all around food.  When it was time for my lunch break at work, I would go to a drive through and load up on food.  I’d go to Sonic and get an extra-long chili-cheese coney, an order of cheese sticks, a large cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper, and cheesecake bites with caramel sauce.  Or I would go to Taco Bell, and I would get 6 crunchy tacos, 2 double deckers, 2 orders of nacho cheese, and a large Root Beer.  Or I would go to KFC and get a mashed potato bowl, an order of macaroni and cheese, 2 biscuits, and a large Sweet Tea.  You name it, I went there.  After I had loaded up on my food of choice, I would go find an empty parking lot and park under a tree in a corner so I could hide.  I would stuff my face as fast as possible because I didn't want anyone to see the amount of food I was consuming.  After I was done, I would go to a gas station or the Dollar Store and buy a bag of candy – usually Snickers bites, Reese’s, or Skittles.  I would shove it in my purse so nobody would know that I had secret plans to eat it all afternoon while sitting at my desk.  After getting off work, going home, and putting on my stretchy pants – I would eat supper.  This usually consisted of something quick and easy - pizza, fast food, etc.  Then I would park my rear on the couch and wait.  I would wait for my husband to go to bed so I could grab the can of frosting I had stashed on the top shelf of the refrigerator behind the butter where he couldn't see it.  I would grab a spoon, crack it open, sit on the couch, and eat it.  By the spoonful.  Usually half a can and sometimes even a whole can at a time.  After I had eaten myself into oblivion, I would hide what was left of the frosting back in the fridge so I could have a date with it again the next night.  Sometimes, I’d even have a glass of wine or beer with my late-night food rendezvous.  Then I would go to bed, just so I could wake up and do it all over again the next day.  Hey, don’t judge.

I have no idea why I continued to do that to myself.  I hated who I was, how I looked, how I felt, and what I was doing.  I guess stuffing my feelings down with food was my answer to coping with my problems.  But after I would eat, I would feel guilty and just eat more because it made me feel better.  Turns out, I had all the tell-tale signs of food addiction:

• binge even when you aren't hungry
• eat faster than normal
• eat alone due to shame and embarrassment
• feel guilty due to overeating
• preoccupied with your weight
• suffer from depression and frequent mood swings
• aware that your eating pattern is not normal, but do it anyway
• history of weight fluctuations
• withdrawal from activities due to embarrassment of weight
• history of many unsuccessful diets
• low self-esteem
• urge to eat greater amounts

Yup.  All of the above USED to describe who I was to a T.  But not anymore.  Even though the fluffy girl inside me rears her big ole fat head when sweets, chicken fried steaks, rolls, and nachos appear – I am very proud to say that I am no longer a food addict!  I don’t depend on food to make me happy anymore; I depend on food to fuel my body for the day.  Did I just say that?  Yep, I did.  Totally "that" girl.  

If you suffer from food addiction or binging, go check out my awesome coach/friend/trainer lady’s blog by clicking here.  She knows her stuff and has some great ways to help you think about food in a different way.

Life outside of food addiction is gloooorious!  I have energy, confidence, and the desire to do things and wear things (like yoga pants and leggings, what!) that I used to be afraid of.  Who knew that getting my eating habits under control could make such a difference in my overall happiness?  I feel like a new person, and the burden of food no longer weighs on me.  I choose what I eat now, I don’t let food control me.  No, I'm not on a diet, and I don't restrict myself.  I choose what I put in my face for a reason, not because I "can" or "can't".

If you need help, want to know more, or have questions, please don't hesitate to shoot me a message!  I don't bite, and I won't judge you!  My email is losingfluffwithkelli@gmail.com.  :) 

Stay tuned for my EXCITING news I have to announce next week!!!!!!