Time to Make a Change

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that it's completely obvious that I have been struggling with this whole healthy lifestyle thing lately.  I've been skipping my workouts and have formed some bad eating habits over the past few months.  Life has been a little rough since around December, and definitely not turning out as I had pictured or planned.  I thought I'd just keep truckin along, working full time, running my business on the side, going to boot camp, and prepping meals...not so much.  

My little side business has taken on a whole new meaning and become much more time consuming.  I went to the book store a few weeks ago and picked up a book called You're Made for a God-Sized Dream.  I haven't been able to put it down, and every time I read it I end up with tears streaming down my face because the words hit me like bricks.  I don't know if I've ever read a book that hit home like this one has.  Basically, it's about opening the door to all God has for you, and having the courage to take on those big dreams you have in your heart.  The last chapter I read was called "How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself".  It began with explaining how when you have a God-sized dream, it's easy to find yourself utterly exhausted because your passion for it can become consuming.  Then it goes on to explain steps to take along the way to avoid self-sabotage.  This chapter was exactly what I needed to read!  Since this book has been helping me so much, I just want to share the steps with a quick summary under each:

1.  Remember You're Human

• everyone has limitations, which are not a sign of weakness or failure but a reminder that we are gloriously and imperfectly human
• you are not machines that can endlessly perform
• you are not a superhero and you are not invincible
• respect what you need and accept being human

2.  Take Care of Your Body

• if you want a better, more fulfilled life and to achieve your dream, then you must take care of your body
• when we're in the midst of following a passion in our lives, we often grow tired, and the first things to go are usually what could make us feel better
• when you chronically live in stress, it saps you of your strength and you end up in survival mode
• when you make poor food choices, ignore exercise, and don't get enough rest - you flip yourself into living out of a stress response
• remember to get 7-10 hours of sleep a night, put a basic plan in place for healthy eating - something easy that you will stick with, and get moving at least 3 times a week
• think of your body as the vessel for the rest of you - take care of yourself and respect your needs

3.  Simplify Your Life

• cut back on extraneous emotional and energy expenses in other areas
• make a list of things that take up your time, then decide what can stay, what needs to go, what can be delegated, and what can be decreased

4.  Build Your Dream Team

• no-one achieves their dreams alone, so having a support system is crucial
• make sure you have a mentor, an encourager, and a cheering section
• stay away from negative people, be ready for doubters, and stand guard against bullies

5.  Decide to Be On Your Side

• learn that it's okay to treat yourself with kindness, and talk to yourself in a positive way
• don't get in your own way and learn how to encourage yourself when no one else is there to do it for you

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret.  My dream is to run my own successful floral design studio, specializing in weddings and events.  I want to travel, creating designs out of fresh flowers that only I can see in my dreams, doing what I do best.  I want to be my own boss.  This has always been a dream of mine, I've just been too scared to pursue it.  Well, I started pursuing it about a year ago, and my life hasn't been the same since.  I eat, sleep, and breathe my dream these days - and in doing that, I have started to learn a lot more about myself and what I want out of life.  I've been spending a lot more time with my husband, and I love it.  I've learned that I love the small hometown feeling I get when I walk into the gas station where we live (yes, there's just one).  I've learned that I am way more capable of doing more than I ever thought.  It feels like I've been watching a movie of someone else's life lately, doing all these things that I've always wanted to do...but then I realize it's me.  I know, sounds weird - but it's the truth. 

Investing so much time and energy into making my dream a reality has definitely taken its toll on me mentally and physically.  I've gotten fluffy, I get out of breath doing normal things, and I'm always tired.  I finally hit a breaking point the other night and told my husband that something had to give.  So, I am making changes.

Last night, my parents brought over my old desk and a new filing cabinet for me.  So, now I have a little office at home that I can work out of instead of having wedding papers scattered all over the house and sitting at the kitchen table.  I've decided to take a break from boot camp for a couple of months. Instead, I am going to be coming home right after work and doing a quick workout with my husband.  I am going to start getting up a little earlier so I can work on my business before I go to my day job.  I am also going to start eating healthy again and getting more sleep.

I realize that some of you may not understand or agree with my decisions, but I'm doing what I feel is best for me at this time in my life.  My current schedule was not working for me, so I'm changing it.  Is it scary?  Yes.  Am I going to miss my friends at boot camp?  Yes.  Do I think this change is necessary?   Absolutely. 

Word on the street is that there is a new boot camp location opening up in Round Rock in April, so I am planning on going back when that happens.  There are times in life when you need to make a change and rock your world a little bit.  Instead of sitting here wishing things were the way they used to be just a few short months ago, I'm making the decision here and now to focus on what lies ahead instead of looking behind me anymore.  So, here's to being scared but making changes anyway, getting out of my comfort zone, taking care of myself again, and making my dream come true!