Embrace Your Crazy

Is it seriously already February?  What happened to January??  Oh, that’s right...I was busy as crap!  My business has taken on a mind of its own, and has begun to demand a LOT of my attention.  Since things started getting so busy for me a couple weeks ago, I decided to take a step back from my Fluff page, and focus more on growing my business instead of my muscles.  For the past few weeks, I have spent my days working 8-5 (yep, still have a full-time job), then coming home and working my business till about 12-1am.  I’ve been running on about 5 hours of sleep every day, texting brides about moss balls and cake flowers, meeting potential clients over coffee (and cake pops), creating quotes, drawing sketches, and eating whatever is convenient.  I conquered a wedding and two bridal shows in the midst of it all.  My car has had everything in it from flowers, to giant logs, to old tires, and spray paint. 

Aside from being so busy with all of that, my coach moved to a different town.  Did you catch that?  Coach...relocated.  This was completely unexpected, and I still struggle with it.  On the days I didn’t feel like going to boot camp, I went anyway because I knew she would text me asking where I was.  When I was doing exercises all wrong, she was there to tell me how to do it right.  When I was stressed out because of work, she would hug me.  When I killed my workout, she’d give me a pat on the back and say “Way to go Kelli Rogers!”  I’d be lying if I said boot camp doesn’t feel different these days.  I came very close to quitting and never looking back, mostly because I was mad, upset, sad, and didn’t want to accept the fact that she wouldn’t be there anymore.  Then I thought about my friends, all the progress I’ve made, and the blood, sweat, and tears I have put on that gym floor.  And I decided to stay.  I started boot camp because I wanted to be a better me, not for anyone or anything else.  So, that’s why I’m going to continue.  I may not be able to go 4 times a week, but I’ll go when I can.

Did taking a step back and focusing on my business make it grow?  Heck yes it did, and I am very thankful.  However, it wasn’t the only thing that grew...so did my butt.  Yall, I have a pair of jeans that were loose in December, and I can’t even button them now!  I totally went back to old habits because of all of the crazy emotions going on, and I turned to food for comfort BIGtime.  I got so busy that I stopped making time to track my food, prep meals, workout, and heck I barely made time to even get groceries.  That + stress + lack of sleep = fluff.  #justkeepinitreal

 

Even though I have put on some fluff these past couple of months, it’s OKAY.  I'm not beating myself up about it.  Taking a step back from it all made me realize that I was focusing my energy on things that don’t really matter.  I was too wrapped up in what the scale said, what my body fat % was, and comparing my body to other people.  In the end, none of that matters.  What matters is your family, friends, and doing what you are made to do.  For me, that’s flowers.  I know I keep bringing up my business, but it is changing me and my life in ways that I never imagined possible.  I am taking big risks and leaps of faith, and I am accomplishing things that were just dreams before. 

 

What does this mean for my working out and eating habits?  I don’t know.  I’m just trying to figure it out one day at a time and make smarter choices as I go.  I'm focusing more on getting to a point where I'm just comfortable in my own skin more than anything, and getting stronger (gotta be able to set up those wedding flowers!).  I went to boot camp last night, and I’m going again today (even though I don’t want to because I’ve got to revise a quote, do two sets of sketches for styled shoots, and place flower orders...so it's looking like another late night).  Maybe I’ll pick up tracking all my food again tomorrow, and maybe I won’t.  Either way, I’m gonna be just fine.  This journey is about progress anyway, not being perfect. 

 

Life is short.  Be thankful for those you love, and thankful to be alive another day.  Don’t get so busy that you lose sight of what’s important.  My life is different now, and changing on a daily basis.  Instead of fighting it, I'm learning to embrace the crazy.  Whatever it is in life that you have been afraid of, I highly recommend facing the fear head-on and just going for it.  Don't be afraid to dream, and learn to embrace your crazy!  :)