My Life is a Tornado!

It's been a while since I've blogged or posted anything.  I am going through some HUGE changes in my life right now, so I have been spending less and less time taking care of myself.  I know I know, bad habit.  Let me just say this - change is not easy.  It's hard, and sometimes it sucks. 

My life went from a nice little routine all wrapped up in a pretty package to...a tornado.  I used to get up, make protein pancakes, grab my pre-packed lunch and gym bags, and head to work.  I'd work 8-5 M-F, then head straight to boot camp.  After that, I'd have a protein shake on the way home, get home and cook supper, clean the kitchen, shower up, then relax and go to bed.  Every day.  Then, the weekends were for chilling, getting in another workout, cleaning house, and getting meals ready for the next week.  That was it!  Nice and simple!  Then...I had the crazy idea to start my own business.

Starting a business has been a lifelong dream of mine, and I always knew it was just a matter of time before it happened.  What I didn't know was how much it would change my world.  Long gone are the days of a nice little routine, and long gone are the days of creating recipes, meal prep, and extra workouts.  Every day is different, and every day has obstacles/successes of its own.  I wake up late almost every day, and end up running out the door with either a cereal bar or no breakfast.  I don't make time to pack lunches anymore, so I end up going to get fast food for lunch because I am in a hurry and have errands to run within that hour too.  I don't go to boot camp anymore because I left that gym due to personal preferences (I did start a new workout though, more on that later).  After I get home, I throw together supper with whatever I can find (lately it's been 50 cent frozen bean and cheese burritos).  I don't care if the kitchen gets cleaned every night.  And when I am done with all that, I have to work my business.  I have emails, quotes, sketches, and orders to take care of.  After that, I sit on the couch for about an hour of tv time, where I usually sack out and wake up with my mouth open.  Then, I go to bed just to wake up and do it all over again.  Some days, I have photoshoots.  Some days, I have huge weddings that entail crazy tasks.  Some days, I am on my feet for over 18 hours working on putting together flowers for my brides.  Some days, I only get 3 hours of sleep.  Some days, I only have one meal. 

People ask me all the time - how do you do it?!  Well, for one thing - I have come to realize that owning and operating my own floral design studio is what I have been called to do.  Second, I can't quit my day job because of all of the benefits and the steady paycheck.  So, for now - this is my life.  Work, work, and work.  I'd love to say that one day the madness will stop, but I'm not so sure.

Am I grateful to be chasing my dreams and know my purpose (one of them) in life?  YES!  Does that mean it's easy peasy and all rainbows?  Heck NO.  It's hard!  You have to be tough to be a business owner.  You have to be able to stand your ground and remain firm in your decisions.  You have to keep your cool at all times, be flexible, and make things work when they seem impossible.  You have to face your fears when you are scared to death, and you have to keep moving forward.  I have been dealt some pretty dadgum amazing cards so far with my business, but I have also been dealt some tough ones.  I have been dealing with an issue for over a week now that I never imagined having to deal with, and to protect me and my business I won't go into too much detail.  What I will say is that being held to the fire is not fun, but it makes you stronger. 

 

Going through this time has not only been a huge learning experience, but also a reminder.  I have learned that I'm stronger than I thought, and that I can overcome hard things.  I have been reminded that I am not alone.  I have an amazing support system - my husband, family, and friends.  And I am worthy.

Unfortunately, we all have to deal with things in life that are hard.  Just remember, you know who you are - and you are worthy.  Never let anyone make you feel less than. 

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So, now that you all know a bit of what's been going on...time to get real.  I have officially packed on 30 pounds since August of last year (umm...gross).  I live in leggings because they are the only pants that stretch over my butt.  I put my hair in a ponytail every day because I don't care (and I'm growing it out, I think).  I'm tired all the time.  I have no motivation to exercise or eat healthy.  And I am exhausted. 

What gives?  I don't know.  Between my day job and business, and everything else - I'm spread way too thin.  I'm thinking a spa day and a vacation might do the trick, at least for a little while.  I do know that I'm tired of not taking care of myself, and I'm tired of setting up personal challenges that I can't make time for.  Maybe I should just wear a cape because then I could conquer everything??

I miss the days of making new recipes for healthy food.  I miss the days of walking out the door in my spandex pants feeling like a rockstar.  I miss my ME time.  I miss relaxing.  Somehow, I've got to get back in control of my health, and fast!  I started going to my coach's outdoor boot camp, and my husband is going with me.  If it weren't for him and my coach, I honestly probably wouldn't be working out at all. 

So, until then...yall might not hear much from me.  Cause I'm all over the place right now!  I just hope something clicks soon, and I can get my motivation back.  If yall have any advice to offer me with my current situation, I am ALL EARS!


Thanks for listening  :)