Re-Cap: Craziest Week I've Had in a Long Time!

I just want to start out by saying that this post is going to be a little bit all over the place (sorry)...and not really too health and fitness related...it's just a re-cap of what my life has been like lately and what I've been up to!  :)

As some of yall know, I recently started my own business creating floral designs for weddings, special events, etc.  This has been a life-long dream of mine, and I am finally going for it!!  After going through college, and working to make other florists' dreams come true...it's my turn.  I definitely feel like I am sprinting through the woods in the dark because I have no idea where this will lead.  All I know is that this past week has felt like a dream, was very surreal, and flat out crazy! 

On Monday, this is what I felt like:

 

I knew I had a bunch of stuff to do, I was scared, and I didn't know how I was going to do it all.  So, instead of freaking out...I TRIED to take things one day at a time.  On Tuesday, my flowers arrived for my tv segment.  Yeah, tv.  Me...on tv.  WHAT?!  After getting my butt kicked at boot camp, I went back to my office to pick up my flowers, and it was raining...not just a sprinkle...I'm talkin RAINING.  So I got drenched.

 

I made it home to my studio, and put together a really fun centerpiece.  All the while thinking to myself...I'm making flowers...for tv.  This is a BIG DEAL!!!!!!  Not only am I shy, don't like talking in front of people, and don't like being the center of attention, but I am going to be talking in front of big cameras about MY business! 

 

 

 

Once my centerpiece was done, I had to figure out what to wear.  Before I knew it...I was in downtown Austin at the KXAN building, sitting in the green room, getting a microphone hooked on, and waiting for my turn to be interviewed. 

 

 

The producer could tell I was super nervous, and he told me that if I felt like I was going to vomit, to just project it onto the host because it would make for great tv!  Luckily, I was scheduled to go last, so I got to piddle around a little bit.  While I was waiting, I even got to sit behind the desk and pretend I was a reporter!

 

 

Next thing I knew, it was my turn to go on.  My mind was racing, people were looking at me, and I was just like holy crap holy crap holy crap.  The host was so sweet, and she made me feel more at ease before we got started.  Then, it was "5...4...3...2...1..." roll!!

 

Surprisingly, I actually did okay.  I felt my face turning red one time, but other than that - it was great!  Here's a link to the video:

 

http://kxan.com/2014/09/17/nature-inspired-floral-design-with-sweetwater-stems/

 

Once it was over, I loaded up and headed to work.  I hadn't packed a lunch and didn't eat hardly anything for breakfast because I was so dang nervous.  So, I decided what the heck I'm going to Wendy's.  Sure enough, as I eat my first french fry, I get a text from my coach saying that she is thinking about me!  I looked around like what the heck...how does she know!?!?!  Haha!  Needless to say, I didn't go to boot camp that day.  Not only was I mentally exhausted, but I knew I would probably hurl after that meal.

 

The next day, I was going full steam ahead in preparation for the Bridal Extravaganza.  I have worked these type of shows for other businesses, but never for my own business.  Let me just say that when you are doing things for your own business, there is WAY more pressure.  It's your name, your reputation, and your future on the line - so it adds an extra element of stress.  Anyway, I spent the next two days getting everything together - fabric, album, sign up sheets, etc.  I decided to take Friday off of work (yes I have a full time job too), so that I could focus on getting ready.  I had to pick up my flowers from the wholesaler, buy more supplies, pick up rentals, pay bills, and prep.  In the middle of all that, I went and had lunch with my coach.  It was so nice to get a break from the madness for a little bit!  She told me to stop worrying about the "what ifs" and worrying about the future and to focus on what matters right here and now.  I know she is 100% right, but that is super hard for me to do because I am a planner.  In my mind, everything must be organized, perfect, and ready to go.  So, focusing on just one thing at a time is a challenge...but I am working on it!!!!!! :) 

 

Oh yeah, something else really cool happened that day too...I got a message from a nutrition and exercise coach with Biotrust asking me if I would write a review for a new program they are introducing in the near future...and in return, they are sending me products!  I mean, how cool is that?!  I'm not sure why I am deserving of that, but I am very thankful because I haven't been able to save up for protein powder from them in a while!

 

So Friday night, we went to set up everything but the flowers at the Palmer Events Center. 

 

 

My husband had to goof off...  :)

 

Then, I spent all day Saturday (no really...from 9am-12am) getting everything done...the sign, flower wall, centerpiece, orchids, and everything else.  I got 5 hours of sleep, then it was time to go!!!!  We loaded up the car and headed out.  Luckily we were one of the first vendors there, so we were able to get everything set up pretty quickly.

 

We had a few minutes to spare, so we walked around to scope out the other booths while waiting on my friend Vani to arrive.  Vani is someone I met through boot camp, and she has become a great friend of mine!!  Once she got there, my hubby left, and we started getting ready.  I had been so nervous for weeks about the show because I'm not outgoing at all, but I was surprisingly calm.  Before I knew it, the doors opened and herds of brides flooded in.  What I wasn't expecting was one of my other boot camp friends to show up - Kim!  She came to show her support, and she even went and got us some wedding cake to snack on (hey, don't judge me...we were at a bridal show!).  Time flew by, I actually had a blast, and everything went better than I could have ever expected!

 

After the show was over, we got home around 8:00, showered, and then it was time for Monday - already!!!!!  ....And now it's Tuesday. 

 

So, there you have it...my week in review.  I basically lived off of Whataburger and trail mix, I didn't track anything I ate, and I only worked out 3 times.  Yes, I could've done things differently and kept my head on straight with being healthy, but I didn't.  I have no excuses, and I have no regrets.  Last week was a huge week not only for my business but for me personally.  Words cannot express the gratitude I have for everyone's support and encouragement!  And pardon me for getting mushy here, but my husband is seriously the best.  He stood by me the entire week, late nights, early mornings and all...he was there.  When I just about had a melt down, he gave me a pep talk...when I didn't have time to leave and get something to eat, he brought me food...when I was working the show, he went and got groceries...he built several things for my booth...he encouraged me, believed in me, and he was my rock.  I am so thankful to have him, and I can't brag enough on how much he helped me.  I could not have made it through last week without him...seriously!!!

 

So, what now?  Well, I am just trying to stop my head from spinning.  It's time to get back on track with my food and with working out.  I wish I could say that I was perfect all last week, but I wasn't.  I still don't know how to juggle everything all at once, and it will take time to figure out...but for now, I'm just going to take it one day at a time and make each day a success!  :)  Here we go!!!

 

   

 

 

 

Lately...

I have been debating on whether or not to write this blog post for the past few days.  I do my best to be as real and transparent with my journey as possible because I'm an honest person, and I think that if sharing my struggles can help one person out there-then it's worth it.  So don't judge me.  With that being said, here's what's been going on in my world lately.

On Friday night, I went out to dinner with my boot camp buddies.  We went to a Mexican restaurant, and I had 3 margaritas, bean and cheese quesadillas, and chips.  I had a blast!  I remember thinking...I'm in a fancy restaurant, in Austin, with friends, sweet!  I haven't had a group of close friends since high school, so it's a big deal to me.  

On Saturday, I went to a birthday party with my hubby.  I ate a hot dog, chips, cookie cake, and I drank an entire bottle of wine.  Yes, I said a whole bottle.  I haven't been to a house party in like 3 years, and it was fun.  

Now it's Sunday.  And I'm sitting on the grass in the middle of the park with sweat dripping off my nose from doing a rough workout.  It's the same workout I like to do on the weekends, except this time I was only able to do it for one round...barely.  I got up this morning and cooked some food to grab and go for the week, then decided it was time to sweat.  Mission accomplished.

For about a week now, I have been doing lots of thinking.  I've made it a point to turn off the tv, be still, and just think.  Why am I doing this?  What are my goals?  What made me start this?  What's driving me?  Why am I so stressed out?  Why do I keep screwing up?  Why am I so hard on myself?  

First off, I started this journey for ME.  I want to be healthy and in shape because I want to have a good life.  I like being able to do things I used to couldn't, and I like the way I feel when I'm taking care of myself.  I started my Facebook page and blog because I wanted to show people the true story of a normal person working to get healthy...struggles and all.  It also helps me to look back and see my progress.  

Second, I think I have been super stressed out because of the amount of changes that are happening so fast in my life.  I started a business in March, and it took off like a dadgum wildfire before I even blinked.  I changed my eating habits from "clean" and the same meal plan every single day to iifym (if it fits your macros).  Those two things have had a huge impact on me. My spare time is no longer spent just hanging out, I'm constantly thinking about/working on my business and trying to make it a success.  I spend more time logging food and trying to figure out what to eat.  IIFYM opened up the door to foods I have restricted myself from for so long that it's hard for me to not go crazy.  I mean, I didn't eat anything that wasn't on my meal plan, and now I can eat whatever I want (within reason) that fits my macros.  Not gonna lie, I love iifym, but it has been a real mental struggle for me to make that transition.  I know what to do, but that doesn't make it easy!  

Third, my body is changing.  People say things to me like "You're smaller every time I see you...your arms are getting muscular...your butt looks really good...your muscle definition is awesome"...and I honestly want to turn around to make sure they aren't talking to someone behind me.  These are all things that I have not heard often, cause I was always fluffy.  I just don't see it as much as they do I guess.  From my reflection to pictures, it's hard for me to see unless I put pictures side by side.  When I was in 7th grade, someone (who was supposed to be my boyfriend) called me a "tank ass", and I used to knock stuff over with my butt cause it was so big.  That has stuck with me for years, and that's probably why I'm so self conscious of my lower half.  So when I get complimented on that area, it's weird.

Wow, I am totally rambling.  So, back to what I've been thinking about lately...goals.  I have new ones.  I want to hit 19% body fat by the end of this year, I'm going to start lifting weights, and reading more books.  I'm going to remember that I have to take things one step at a time and stop trying to do a thousand things all at once.  I'm going to focus on building muscle and burning fat.  I'm going to remember that food is fuel, not therapy.  I'm going to breathe.  And I'm going to remember what my coach told me the other day.  She said "You are you and that alone is enough".  

It's easy to get caught up in the race sometimes and feel like you have to compete.  But you don't.  Titles, money, and things don't make you who you are.  You are you, and that's enough.

:)